A Blur of a week…

There is a wedding this Saturday and every day this week has been crazy with so many things to do. I am not doing badly with the eating but I am not fasting or really paying attention either.
Regular ADF will start back up September 1st – that will be the new start of year one, no excuses. Next wedding not until July next year, let’s see how much we can accomplish before that. Hopefully there will be a striking difference in the photos.
Thanks for reading this and hanging in there with me. Don’t give up on me just yet, I am going to have success in this lifestyle change and live to tell about it.

T.

Discouraged.

Things are not going well. Feeling discouraged and over full.
Things just got the better of me today and for no good reason.
Tomorrow is another day – feeling motivated for a DD.

Time to do some praying and sleeping.
T.

Just A Normal Day

So I just chose to stay on set schedule and so today was up and tomorrow with be down/resting. Nothing to share or report. It was a fun day with an open house and an evening minor league game on the party deck.
Tomorrow will be great.

T.

Crap Day…

Started out very hungry, feeling confident and enjoying the morning. Went to a meeting and the coffee cake was there… I resisted and then the hunger hit hard and I grabbed a piece hardly thinking. Okay fine, only 177 calories, I can deal, I can do this. Well, the beast would not be tamed after that. Hello left over pasta alfredo, hello candied orange slices… crap, the belly is winning today.

Will tomorrow be a down day? Can tomorrow be a down day? I have to think on this… what is the next right thing I can do??

I WILL WIN!

Another Up Day Down :)

Up days are fun.

Had breakfast sandwich and iced coffee, toast with butter and the biggest plate of pasta with salmon, broccoli and alfredo sauce and champagne. Not sure that I actually had enough calories… I’ll try to estimate it… okay, so estimating high it was about 1900 calories. (forgot the champagne so add 200 more calories. Oh and the mini Milky Way, complete bliss!) I think I am good with that.

Thought about sharing some pf my statistics but thought better of it. I will share if I have lost weight each week on either Monday or Tuesday.

Down day tomorrow – stopped eating tonight around 7 so hope to make it to 7 before eating again or maybe I can make it a complete resting day. I am feeling a bit hormonal (paranoid, super sensitive, having a hard time getting over something hard that someone said to me…) and so I am worried that it will get the better of me if I don’t have a plan but I am wiped out right now and just can’t do the mental work to figure it out right now.

Complete fast sounds like the easiest road to go but we’ll see… yikes.

Fitbit said almost 8000 steps today and 16 flights of stairs *cleaning house for 6 hours)- says I burned over 2300 calories. Super tired going to bed.

Night, T.

Then came the Mondo Burrito…

Resting Day – Feeling great!!

Possibility for derailment happened when son and daughter-in-law (in 13 days!!) came to visit and suggested Taco Del Mar. Exactly what I had been craving right at that minute. Got in the car and got my burrito – successfully only at half of it!! Yay!! (Also got double punches for some reason and now have a free one coming!!)

Finished this day at 548 calories!! I will take it. I am hungry but not panicked, feels great.

I just treated (weird word) myself to a Lush face mask tonight and new moisturizer. Feeling more hopeful and looking forward to UD tomorrow. Actually have to work (cleaning houses) most of the day and might have a hard time to getting enough calories tomorrow (ha, funny thought).

Finally this is clicking for me!

Night. T.

UD after successful DD = fun and relaxing.

Feeling great! After a successful Rest Day I finally got to enjoy a lovely (reasonable) UD yesterday and felt inspired for the next DD! Finally feeling like this might be doable. I have dreams of completely healthy, whole foods, lots of protein ‘every day’ but for now I will take staying within the set calorie parameters and enjoying what I like and what’s available for today.

Having a good Rest Day gave me a free feeling and the ability to say yes to things that I have been feeling guilty for having for years. What I enjoyed I enjoyed in smaller portions because I didn’t want to waste my previous days work. (I see something great happening here!)

DD today and since I stopped eating last night around 6:30 that is when I will have a little something tonight and call it good. Enjoyed a little coffee and creamer after Church (it really took me a week to get started!!) and looking forward to a protein packed salad tonight.

My current motivation is this belly fat and daily asthma struggle. Cannot wait until I see some improvement in these two areas!

Continuing on in grace – I will keep you posted.

A Successful Day – Yay!

I had water all day until 6:30 this evening and then I had a small piece of veggie pizza with white sauce and some Caesar salad – looks like under 500 calories. I am still hungry but feeling better that I might actually be able to do this.

Daughter’s big birthday tomorrow and I am looking forward to a fun UD.

Feeling hopeful and determined.

I need this belly to be gone, I need to feel better. I can do this.

Night. T.

Blurg. Tomorrow is another day…

…to start again.

Went away for 3 days with best friend and we just did what we wanted… a lot of what we wanted.

Good thing we only do that once every couple of years. Tomorrow should be a resting day.

I am about to give up and delete this blog…

I don’t want to give up…

I want to keep fighting! I will keep fighting.

Night

DD One – this hard…

So today.

I started with going to church in my bright blue dress, feeling good and positive if not just a little bit too tired from being out partying last night with girls just about half my age. It was awesome people watching (country western dancing looks fun, creepers are everywhere) and there was lots of giggling.

I got up this morning and went right back to bed. I was pretty sure I was not going to go worship today but then couldn’t stay there. Really wanted to be with my people. I am very happy with my decision – I needed a bit of refocusing on what is really important. If I had stayed in bed I would have wasted the whole day and been feeling down. Instead, though I have not been exactly active, I have gotten a few chores done.

It is pretty customary for a Starbucks trip to happen after Church. My choice this morning was the blackberry lemonade tea. Not a bad decision but making it a 31 ounce tea was not so good. 240 calories. That is half of today’s calories in a drink. It was my hope to do tea and water all day and not eat because generally when I start eating it is hard to stop. I know this so why did I grab the saltines out of the package sitting on the counter?? Just a few at a time over a few hours and shockingly eventually the whole package was empty! Damn – grrr.

Whole row of saltines and blackberry tea = over 700 calories. So not a raging success but I guess not a complete catastrophe either.

According the the fasting calculator DD should be below 500 (471 actually) and up days should be 2350. So tomorrow I will stick to 2000 calories (I know I said I wouldn’t count but I want to be successful and today didn’t turn out as planned so I just want to be mindful.) Blurg. Feeling discouraged after the first day – not giving up though. Toyed with the idea of trying another DD tomorrow but I think I will try sticking to this plan. UD tomorrow!

What did I learn today?

• A smaller tea would have been wiser.
• Planning of some veggies and a little protein might help to avoid the grabbing of quickly available carbs.
• Crackers should  be avoided on DDs. (Probably all days.)

Committing to writing is definitely making a difference for me. It is forcing me to stop and process what I am doing.

Continuing on in Love and Grace,
T.

P.S. A couple of hours later now and I am sooooo hungry. Good sign I guess…. maybe? Still have several hours before bed…